when i remembered all the delicious edibles sitting in fridge last weekend, it was pretty close to too late. i had some broccoli, almost a whole head of garlic that was ready to sprout, and a few slices of well-marbled bacon. to throw away such a bounty would have been a travesty. i decided to act quickly.
i thought, “i’ll make frittata.”
then i thought, “i don’t have an oven, a grill, or a cast iron pan. dang it.”
but then i thought, “i don’t need no cast iron pan. i’m making frittata, and that is that.”
and lo and behold, six eggs later, i was feasting. did i cook my frittata on an insanely low heat over a long period of time? yes, i did. did i fire up my tiny toaster oven on 220°c, open the door, and hold my frying pan directly under the heating element for a few minutes to finish the top of my eggs? you bet your butt i did. and i burned the heck out of my hand doing it, too. but we all have to make sacrifices sometimes.
frittata (poor man’s style)
- half a large stalk of broccoli
- half an onion
- two or three cloves of garlic
- four to five pieces of bacon
- black pepper
- heavy whipping cream
- five to six eggs
- first, break apart your broccoli. i do my best to cut off as much stem as possible. don’t throw the stem away, though. it makes an amazing addition to stirfries or can add some necessary crunch to a meal when steamed correctly. anyway, try to break the broccoli tips in really small pieces without crumbling them.
- peel and mince the garlic.
- cut the onion into thirds, then slice it. make sure not to cut the slices too thin or they will turn to mush in the frying pan. your goal is to keep the flavor and texture intact.
- take out that bacon. i like to fold my bacon over twice and then slice it thinly at a 45º angle. the resulting ribbons take on a texture similar to julienned carrots, which i love. plus, the thinner you slice it, the faster it’ll cook. which is a boon when you are starving all the time like i am.
- scramble those eggs. break them into a large bowl, add two or three spoons of heavy whipping cream, some thyme and basil, salt and black pepper, and beat until you can’t beat no more. remember, try to get some air into your eggs. that is what will make them nice and fluffy.
- put some oil in a frying pan and bring it to medium high heat. add the garlic and bacon, and let the two saute for a few minutes. once the bacon starts to brown just a little, add the broccoli and onions. let everything cook together until the broccoli is tender yet crisp. the key to this dish is texture, so make sure the broccoli doesn’t end up over cooked. nobody likes mushy broccoli.
- bring the heat as low as you can and slowly pour in the eggs in a circular motion. make sure you distribute them evenly over the contents of the pan. you can adjust the stirfry if you think there are unegged pockets, but it should be okay.
- cover, place something heavy over the top, and let it cook. check on it every few minutes, but it isn’t likely to burn if you have the heat low enough. after about five to ten minutes, it will be mostly done except for some still raw egg on top.
- fire up the toaster oven. 200 to 220ºc is the range you want to use. don’t be an idiot like me, go get your oven mitt and put it on. turn off the stove and take your pan in hand. open the door to the toaster oven and hold your frying pan under the top heating element for a few minutes. the toaster oven should roast the top of your frittata pretty quick, even though you might feel like a bit of a doofus while it cooks.
- once finished, turn the contents of the pan out onto a cutting board the slice the circular masterpiece into quarters or eighths. serve with a roll or some sausages, and you have a breakfast fit for even the heartiest of poor men.